Navigating Isolation After Leaving Mormonism

Since leaving the organized religion of Mormonism, I’ve come to understand a kind of isolation that I never expected. It’s a subtle, yet deeply felt shift in relationships. People who were once part of your daily life now hesitate, unsure of how to interact with you. The sense of belonging you once felt in the community suddenly evaporates, leaving you in a space that feels foreign and lonely.

One of the hardest parts of this experience is reflecting on how I was once treated like family, only to realize now that there is no longer a place for me. This shift may not be intentional, but the organization’s conditioning seems to create hesitancy, as if relationships can’t endure differing beliefs. Yet, the gospel itself teaches us to reach out and love unconditionally.

What makes this even harder is the sense that, as an ex-Mormon, my worth to some active members seems less than that of someone who was never Mormon to begin with. It’s as though leaving the church isn’t just seen as a loss of faith but as a betrayal, and that can make rebuilding those relationships feel nearly impossible. There’s a unique kind of pain in knowing that, to some, your past devotion and shared experiences now seem erased or overshadowed by your choice to leave.

A recent experience brought these dynamics into focus. I was visiting an old friend from church; someone I used to be very close to. We smiled politely, exchanged the usual pleasantries, but the warmth and connection we once shared were absent. She was kind, but there was an undercurrent of discomfort. It was as if she didn’t quite know what to do with me now that I wasn’t the same version of myself that fit neatly into the church framework.

I left that encounter feeling heavy. The person I am hasn’t changed at my core. I still value kindness, integrity, and love. If anything, leaving the church has deepened my commitment to those values because they are now mine—not inherited or mandated, but chosen. Yet, I’m keenly aware that my choice to step away from the faith is often seen as a rejection not only of the church but of the people still in it.

To be fair, this isn’t the case with everyone. I have been incredibly grateful for a few friends who have stood by me, even with our differing beliefs. Their support has been a lifeline in a time of uncertainty and loss. They remind me that love doesn’t have to be conditional, and that relationships can thrive even when faith journeys diverge.

So here is my advice to both members and ex-members:

To active members: Please, reach out. Be kind. Extend that Christlike love you so dearly teach about. A kind word, a genuine question, or an invitation can mean more than you might realize. Your love doesn’t have to be conditional, and your friendships don’t have to end just because someone’s faith journey looks different than yours. Remember the scripture: “Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets” (Matthew 7:12, KJV). If you were the one who stepped away, wouldn’t you want to feel loved and included despite your choices?

To ex-members: Find your new normal. It’s okay to grieve the loss of old relationships while seeking new ones. Reach out to old friends and tell them you miss them. Some might surprise you. And when relationships can’t be mended, know that new friendships and communities are waiting for you. They might not look the same, but they can bring a depth and authenticity that reflect your true self.

This journey isn’t easy, and the isolation can feel overwhelming at times. But it’s also an invitation to grow, to redefine belonging, and to embrace connections that are rooted in love and mutual respect.

To anyone walking this path, you’re not alone. There is life, love, and community beyond the walls of any organization. Let’s strive to treat one another with kindness, understanding, and love, living by the Golden Rule: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you”. It’s a timeless truth that has the power to bridge divides and heal wounds. Take heart and keep moving forward.