There’s a unique charm to Mormon culture, a quirky blend of reverence and lightheartedness that results in some of the funniest and most memorable sayings you’ll ever hear. Growing up in the Church, I became fluent in “Mormonese,” that peculiar dialect made up of spiritual clichés, sugar-coated reprimands, and the occasional unintentionally hilarious phrase. Here’s a little guide to some of the classics. (I’d love to hear one you think of too. Leave them in the comments!)

“The Church is true!”

This is the Swiss Army knife of Mormon phrases. Feeling nervous about bearing your testimony? Just say, “The Church is true,” and boom—you’ve nailed it. Someone asks you how your mission went? “The Church is true.” Your casserole doesn’t win first prize at the ward potluck? Well, at least “The Church is true!” It’s the ultimate conversation starter—and ender.

“I’m too blessed to be stressed!”

Ah, the optimistic anthem of Mormon moms everywhere. Usually said while holding a crying baby, juggling a casserole, and driving 20 minutes to yet another mutual activity. It’s aspirational, sure, but we all know she’s about two blessings away from snapping.

“Modest is hottest.”

A staple of Young Women lessons everywhere. Nothing makes a 14-year-old girl feel more awkward than being told that long shorts are somehow the pinnacle of attractiveness. But hey, as long as you’re “hot” while covering your shoulders, it’s all good, right?

“When the prophet speaks, the debate is over.”

This one’s not exactly funny when you’re sitting in a heated ward council meeting, but you have to admire its efficiency. It’s like the Mormon version of pulling the trump card: “Well, the prophet said it, so I guess we’re done here.” Mic drop.

“Choose the right.”

A simple phrase with profound implications. But let’s be honest—half the time it’s used, it’s to guilt someone out of eating the last donut at ward parties. “Oh, you’re taking the last one? Is that really choosing the right?”

“When I was on my mission…”

Ah, the classic conversation starter for returned missionaries everywhere: “When I was on my mission…” It’s a phrase that guarantees a captive audience (or at least polite nodding) as you engage everyone with tales of tracting, eating questionable casseroles, and that one time you accidentally knocked on the door of a less-active member’s mother’s cousin’s neighbor’s house. This phrase also doubles as the ultimate trump card for spiritual authority in any casual gospel discussion. Who can argue with “I learned this on my mission”? It’s the Mormon equivalent of dropping “I studied abroad” in regular conversation. Bonus points if your story involves bike mishaps, exotic foods, or converting someone within five minutes of knocking on their door. Whether you served stateside or internationally, “When I was on my mission” will always hold a sacred (and slightly humorous) place in Mormon vernacular.

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Mormon culture is full of these sayings, and while they might sometimes make you roll your eyes, they also remind you of the unique, sometimes absurd, always endearing quirks of the community.

And of course, we can’t forget the treasure trove of made-up Mormon swear words. When frustration strikes, you’ll hear expressions like “Oh heck!” or the ever-popular “What the fetch?” (sometimes escalated to “What the H?!”). There’s also “Darn it,” “Flip,” “Shoot,” and the slightly rebellious “Dang,” for when you’re feeling especially daring. For the truly frazzled, there’s “Fudge,” “Dagnabit,” “Snap,” and the ever-versatile “Ah Crud”. And who hasn’t let out an exasperated “Oh my gosh!” or “Golly” in the heat of the moment, either way you’ve got yourself a wholesome string of expletives. If things really go sideways, you might even hear a “Frigging,” “Freakin’,” or a frustrated “Shut the front door!” I’ve been known on occasion to use the “Son of a Bishop” or even “Mother Father!” These expressions may not carry the weight of traditional cursing, but they’re a reminder that even in moments of frustration, Mormons are striving to keep it clean. Bless their hearts.