Starting over has always carried a weight for me.  At times it felt like failure—like admitting I wasn’t capable of sticking with something or seeing it through to the end. The idea of needing to begin anew often made me question my worth, wondering if I had missed the mark somewhere along the way.

But as I’ve grown and gained perspective, I’ve learned that starting over doesn’t have to carry that same burden. In fact, it can be quite exhilarating. The worry of the unknown may still linger, but it no longer defines the experience. Instead, it’s become an opportunity for growth and reinvention, and that shift in mindset has made all the difference.

One defining moment of starting over in my life came when I moved from New Mexico to California as a young mother with three kids and one on the way. My husband, whose job required long hours and a tough commute, couldn’t offer as much help as I needed, so I had to face the transition with his limited help. With a growing pregnancy that kept me on bed rest, the idea of managing to move to a new state and a being in a new home seemed overwhelming. At the time, I didn’t feel like I was failing, but I certainly felt fear—fear of the unknown, fear of how I would manage everything. My husband was busy with work, and while he was there in the evenings, his time was limited, leaving me to care for the children and navigate the daily needs of my family the best I could. I couldn’t physically do much with my pregnancy complications, so I had to rely on others for help. In many ways, it was a humbling experience, and it forced me to lean on new friendships the way I had once relied on family. These friendships became my lifeline, offering the support I needed when I felt most overwhelmed. (Shout out to my Stockton ladies!  You  provided me with love, care and compassion so early on in our friendship and I will forever be grateful for you all!) 

More recently, I experienced another major shift when I closed my small business after 12 years. For years, I loved the independence that came with running my own business, but economic challenges, marital issues, and personal growth led me to realize that the best move for me was to close that chapter and realign myself. It was a difficult decision. I remember crying when I locked up my storefront for the last time, feeling as though I had failed in some way. But in the space that followed, I was able to reassess my goals and find clarity. I returned to school, fought to heal my marriage, and discovered that my desire to own my own business had not disappeared—it just needed a new direction. Starting over gave me the opportunity to realign with my true goals and move forward with a renewed sense of purpose.

Perhaps the most courageous act of starting over came when I left the Mormon Church. This decision marked a profound transformation, as it meant stepping away from the core beliefs, community, and identity that had shaped much of my life. Telling friends and family was difficult, especially since my husband remained a believing member, which, initially, caused tension and struggles within our marriage. It took immense bravery to be publicly vocal about my journey, only to be met at times with defensiveness instead of the empathy I so deeply wished for. The loss of friendships and facing judgment were heavy to bear, but seeking and living my own truth was necessary for my well-being. This chapter of starting over pushed me into a space where I had to rebuild my sense of self and integrity from the ground up, mourning what was lost and embracing what I could become.

What I’ve come to realize is that starting over, while difficult, can also be a profound and liberating experience. Yes, it’s challenging, and there are fears and doubts that come with it. But those fears don’t have to stop us. Instead, they push us to step into new spaces with courage and resilience. And in doing so, we often discover strengths we never knew we had. Starting over, at its core, is an act of hope—it’s a declaration that we believe in the possibility of growth, even after the hardest chapters of our lives.